As I write this, I still realise how I am trying to find the perfect words, even though they will never exist. All my life I have convinced myself that there is only right or wrong. I have always been on the alert for these two extremes, waiting for them to overtake me. As a result, I have forgotten who I am and forgotten that it is enough that I AM at all.
I wouldn’t say that the experience in Murcia showed me who I am. But one thing I know for sure – it brought me a little closer to myself. Before I started this trip, I thought it was enough to be here on my own, in a foreign country, sourrounded by new people, a new culture and way of life, to find myself or to understand myself. All these beautiful, exciting sides of this experience have certainly contributed an important part. But also especially the moments of despair, confusion and loneliness have helped me.
Through this experience I have come so much into exchange with myself that I have perceived feelings and fears that previously seemed unimportant to me and which I certainly could have pushed away many more years before me, but no longer I have to and will.
This time was one of the most beautiful, but also most exhausting and difficult experiences for me. Because I met people who saw me and wanted to see me. And this scared me. It scared me that there is no right or wrong. It scared me not to know what there is then. But I know now that it’s much more about being myself. And I am on the right path to get there. I don’t know exactly, but I think I thought that I could only grow through the outside, through adventures and the foreign. But it was through the outside that I was able to feel my inner self.
Thank you Murcia and all the wonderful people I met there <3

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